In case you were wondering about the massive construction project in between The Legian and KuDeTa on Seminyak beach, here’s the scoop. It’s called The Seminyak. How imaginative. Especially since it’s right next door to The Legian. How much did they pay their marketing think tank to come up with that name? The design is even less imaginative than the name, as these promotional images from their website illustrate. If you think these renderings look bad, wait until you see how much worse the exterior finishes and scale of the place actually are, in person, as it were. It’s dire, dark, cell-blockish, looming overhead, blocking sun and air circulation to its neighbours, and the street. There goes the neighbourhood . . .
The Seminyak, which recently rose on the spacious site of its equally dire predecessor, Resor (sic) Seminyak, is scheduled to open in December 2010. This being Bali, the island of “rubber time,” we’re thinking the opening date will be closer to June 2011. They do have a top contractor (Tata), and the site management looks great. Shame about the concept and architecture, though. Here’s how it will look from the beach, more or less, meaning more massive and less manicured (above).
This behemoth will add 106 units of holiday accommodation to the already oversupplied market in already overcrowded Seminyak. That’s 38 rooms on the beach side of the road, 30 on the other side of the road, 26 suites with jacuzzis overlooking the ocean, two 155sm penthouses, ten 190sm ocean view villas with swimming pools, and one 318sm mega villa, also with pool. What’s more, there will be a spa, called The Spa, a waterside restaurant called (get this), The Waterside, and (as if we really needed another one of these), a beachfront wedding chapel with a reception hall for 150 guests. I expect it will be called The Chapel.
That’s one of the villas with a jacuzzi above. Quick critique. The site is so small and so overbuilt, there’s no place for the loungers. They are actually in the pool! And check out those token Balinese terracotta roof ornaments, slapped on a standard pre-fab kayu sirap shingle roof, horror of horrors. They were probably added to the drawings to show that the place reflects “Balinese style,” which is one of the conditions for building permits here. And how about that private garden? One tree. One square meter of earth.
The Seminyak has a website up, a Facebook group, and a Facebook person page. Its gender is listed as “female”, in case you were wondering. We’re not especially looking forward to meeting her, we won’t be friending her, and we expect she will not invite us to her debutante ball. That’s fine. We don’t have to be nice to everyone, and we don’t have to be invited to every party. We are going to be too busy, anyway, opening our own “luxury” prison compound, called The Bali.