Exhibition on now at SFO of fine old Italian rides, called Moto Bellissima: Italian Motorcycles from the 1950s and 1960s. If you’re changing planes in San Fran, skip Starbuck’s and feast your eyes on these bikes instead. That’s a ’55 Moto Rumi “Raid” above, and a ’52 Motor Devil “Gobetto” below. (Gobetto means “hunchback” in Italian.) SFO really does contain a museum, btw. A real, good one.

A bike can be a thing of beauty, and nobody figured that out faster than the Italians did (surprise surprise). After WWII their motor industry was in ruins, people were short of money and raw materials, but mobility was a MUST! Enter, a generation of bike-making entrepreneurs and designers who sped in to fill the gap. Just five years after the war there were 220 (!!) Italian motorcycle makers showing their steeds of steel at the 1950-51 Milano Motorcycle Exhibition. Tons of taste, and innnovation were unleashed and the thrill lasted all the way through the 60s, and what a thrill. Still. These rides are art.

Synaptic Strap™ No. 1: HMT Bali. I hadn’t considered the virtues of vintage motors ’til I moved to Bali in 1995. While writing an article on the Bali Classic Motorcycle Club (Himpunan Motor Tua or HMT), I went on a two-day club ride encircling Bali, and fell hard for the sight and sound and indescribable magic of their classic bikes (from a 1926 Harley to “Frankenbikes” cobbled together with bits of Indians BSAs Nortons and plumbing equipment).

Synaptic Strap™ No. 2: Deus Bali. Wonder of wonders, what sprung up a couple years ago in the rice fields of my neighbourhood, but Deus Ex Machina Bali. The thrill is back. Deus isn’t a museum, either. Their custom-classic bikes are for sale. If Deus bikes are mindblowing enough for Mrs. Damien Hirst a.k.a. Maia Norman (she bought the one I wanted but thought I couldn’t afford), then they’re mindblowing enough for anyone. Maia is a fashion designer, with a mindblowing new collection for her label, Mother of Pearl.

The Asian Civilisations Museum (ACM) just acquired the greatest single collection of Indian trade textiles in the world: The Roger Hollander Collection. The museum has 70 important pieces from the collection on show now until 3 June, in a blockbuster exhibition entitled “Patterns of Trade: Indian Textiles for Export 1400 – 1900″. If you’re changing planes in Singpore soon, seize the opportunity and see this show.

Synaptic Strap No. 1: Indonesia. A tremendous number of truly ancient Indian trade textiles have been discovered in Indonesia during the past 30 years. With improvements in carbon-14 dating techniques, a number of examples (notably, from Torajaland and Timor) have turned out to be at least 600 years old. You can see some of them at the ACM now. Think about that a second. These cloths (with still-beautiful patterns and colours) were made during the Majapahit era, when Java’s ancient monuments were new, kings were rolling in gold, and legends were being lived and written.

Synaptic Strap No. 2: Roger Hollander. Roger, who personally gathered together the textiles now in ACM’s collection was a dear friend. See my previous blog post about the sale of his ranch in Wyoming to Bill Gates (who lives just a paddle down the beach from my parents). Some of the textiles in the ACM collection were formerly in mine and have made their way (via Roger) back to the region where they were valued and displayed as prestige pieces for centuries.

Synaptic Strap No. 3: Macan Tidur Textiles. I still have quite a number of ancient Indian trade textiles in my collection, and this exhibition has spurred me to review them now, and to photograph them.

Synaptic Strap No. 4: Typography. If you are hypersensitive to typography and its influence, as I am, and can “hear” the type in a book as a voice when you read, you’ll appreciate this. Through my exploration of the Patterns of Trade exhibition and its catalog, I stumbled upon a stronghold of typographic talent, in Relay Room, the Singapore studio that designed the identity, typography, print and other media for the exhibition. They did a truly fine job. Respect.

Big news. Donovan is being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and (Marketing) Museum on April 14th. This pixie troubador out of deepest Glasgow enchanted the world in the sixties with his psychedelic naif persona and almost childlike sing-along songs. He was seminal (if I dare use that word), in introducing the soft side of masculinity to a post-war world of cold, distant, “manly” men (e.g. Don Draper). Donovan’s elfen self and his approachable songs were prominent in the soundtrack of my childhood and adolescence and remain unforgettable.

So, all praise the pixie prophet! Celebrate cuteness on 14 April, and watch the live simulcast of the ceremony, concert and party as Donovan gets inducted while fairy cults the world over (Ubud being a centre of such shenanigans), dance in rings flinging flowers and off-gassing patchouli essences far and wide.

What’s this got to do with Bali? Easy answer. Bali as we know it, love it, and dream it runs on an operating system that’s a synthesis of archaic Hindu mythology and Tantric Buddhism, plus a handful of hairy hardcore folklore and superstition thrown into the mix.

Would Donvan be all over that? Of course. We’ve seen him with Mia Farrow, George Harrison, Paul McCartney and John Lennon, getting great satsang with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi the founder of Transcendental Meditation (above) in India. And we’ve got him covered by the repected British daily, The Independent, under the headline “Donovan: Bob Dylan, the Beatles, Buddha and Me“. Read it and find out how Donovan recalls that he “taught Lennon and McCartney a thing or two, prompted the Pop Art movement” and instigated the Summer of Love. Oh, and the Rolling Stone has validated the presence of Buddhist monks in flowing robes at his concerts, notably a recent one where Jimmy Page joined him onstage. (Don’t you love the way my dinosaur generation clings so faithfully to its fossils?)

Second reason Donovan is all about Bali: The Ubud Spirit Festival. It’s going on, like, right about now, ish. I’ve been in Bali approximately two decades, and was rooted in mildew-coated Ubud for seven years, but I’ve never attended one single moment of an Ubud Spirit Festival yet. And I know the organisers personally! Is that insane, or what? I’m not proud of it, but I’m not ashamed of it either. Whatever. To get to the point, who would be better than Donovan to perform at the Ubud Spirit Festival 2013? C’mon, Ubudians, get with it. He made a hit of “Season of the Witch,” a song that would be a shoe-in for the official anthem of Ubud Bulés as a group, particularly given the fact that 88% of them are female, and most boast abundant attributes that would resonate well with this particular sixties hit.

So, there we have it. Donovan. The sunshine superman universal soldier hurdy gurdy man shall be Bali’s (or at least Ubud’s) new patron saint. Heaven knows, Ubud goes through patron saints like a Brisbane bad boy goes through Bintangs in Kuta. So why not? By the way, what ever happened to the ill-conceived Marketing Museum in Ubud, which canonised antediluvian marketing maven Philip Kotler? How weird was that? (See Rio Helmi‘s blog post asking the same question.) Donovan would have more staying power than Kotler as Ubud’s mascot, and would without the least provocation join merrily in the festivities and spectacles of Ubud adat life. Can we invite Donovan for a year as guru-in-residence at the Ubud palace? Tjok Raka, do please chip in here to second the motion. Thanks.

The planet is pinching itself to make sure that it’s not dreaming, with this six-meter sculpture by Turkish artist, Mehmet Ali Uysal. The work was installed as part of Festival Cinq Saisons at Chaudfontaine in the Liege district of Belgium. Yes. Belgium. Whether I want to or not, I will continue to spend a lot of time in Belgium this year. What might seem a rather bland land, however, is saved by its innate sense of surrealism. Giant clothespins, for instance. And Magritte. And Horta. And Hergé. And . . . it’s endless.

Back to Uysal, the clothespin pincher. (The sculpture is fully functional as a clothespin, btw.)  Uysal participated in this year’s Art Dubai fair, which was on last week. And “on” is the operative word here. This hot fair in a hot land is getting even hotter and more sophisticated. Young collectors (wish we had more of those here), are now a driving force in the Middle East art universe. Watch an interesting newsreel by the BBC about that here.

Now . . . how do we here in Indonesia cultivate a more aware and active population of young collectors? Let’s get going on that, kids, right here in Bali. My hunch is that Biasa Artspace, Bali’s go-to gallery for emerging artists, will lead the way. Rumours of innovative outreach and in-gallery programs at Biasa have been heard in certain circles. This must have some connection to a new driving force at Biasa, my dear friend and art dealer, Pierre Nachbaur. Pierre did Art Dubai last week on behalf of Biasa, which was one of only five Indonesian galleries participating. Can’t wait to hear Pierre’s impression of the fair. Biasa’s update about their entrance into the Emirates is here, on their site.

One of the five Indonesian galleries at Art Dubai was none other than Ark, a progressive standout in Jakarta’s contemporary art landscape. Interestingly enough, Ark was founded by Ronald Akili and Jason Gunawan, art collectors and irrepressible creative entrepreneurs, who also founded our local hangout, Potato Head Beach Club in Bali.

Indonesia definitely made headlines at Art Dubai. (Here’s a great story in Pikiran Rakyat, the top daily paper in Bandung.) With strict censorship codes in the Emirates, a number of works hung for the fair got vetoed immediately by the official halal-vs-haram vettors. One was “Nationalism” a painting by Indonesia’s own Eko Nugroho. Funny story. The censoring committee replaced it with the work of another artist which, unnoticed by them, contains references to Ali, the founder of Shia Islam. Now Dubai, as you know, is almost entirely Sunni. So that picture came down pretty quickly, too. And guess what replaced it? Nugroho’s “Nationalism” went back up on the wall, and stayed there until the end of the fair!  The Art Newspaper, which is kind of the New York Daily News of the art world, reports the story here. Their piece is my favourite to date about Art Dubai as a whole. But let’s wait for the monthly magazines’ coverage.

Now you know how a giant clothespin in Liege relates to Art Dubai and Bali and other stuff; via a series of Susi Synapses™ (they’re part of a patented process of connective thinking, unique to the Sleeping Tiger on the Island of Bali).

BRUNO PIAZZA: MASTERPIECE

My beloved husband Bruno Piazza died at home in Bali, at dawn on Friday the 28th of October, 2011 after a long and courageous battle with cancer.

Bruno lived an extraordinary and beautiful life, and (not surprisingly) he died a remarkably beautiful death. He was not an artist, he was Art. His life was his masterpiece. Now he has completed and signed that masterpiece, with a flourish, and it is beautiful indeed. It is perfect.

Please forgive me, and forgive Bruno, for our shortcomings, and for any oversights or mistakes we may have made in the past, and for anything we ever did or said that caused you or anyone else any pain or suffering. The evening I dispersed Bruno’s ashes in the Indian Ocean, I saw a new crescent moon. That  bright sliver of a smile in the sky was the sign of a clean, happy, new beginning for us all.

Hic et nunc was Bruno’s mantra. I am beginning to understand it better and better.

Do not be alarmed. Do not touch that dial. This is a test. This is only a test. This is a test of the emergency Sleeping Tiger broadcast system. The Sleeping Tiger has been granted amnesty for a lapse in blog-posting on the grounds of terminal illness in the immediate family. So this is a test of the emergency true friends broadcast system. True friends will stay tuned to this frequency.

Do not be alarmed. This is not yet an actual disaster. It is only a test. In the event of an actual disaster true friends of the Sleeping Tiger will be notified of where to go and how many major works of fiction, cupcakes and bottles of vodka to bring with them. Do not be alarmed. We will shortly resume our normal programming. Please stand by.

Ahem . . . that reminds me . . . when I was a kid in the 60s, and emergency broadcast tests (with piercing high tone sound) came on our TV (and they came with exactly the same screen image shown above, and please bear in mind that this was the time of the “Cold War” when our parents expected nukes from Russia arriving at a moment’s notice), my brother and I used to have a good laugh at my little sister’s expense by informing her that “PLEASE STAND BY” meant that she was expected to stand by the TV, meaning to get up, and position herself in a standing position beside that dusty, bulbous, hot black and green television set itself. She, of course, believed it, being several years younger than us, and would diligently get up and stand erect at attention in her flannel baby-sister suit (with rubber-bottomed feetsies), beside that old black and white television set, as if her life depended on it.

We laughed ourselves silly, thinking, “Ha! We sure fooled her!  PLEASE. STAND. BY. ! ! !  Har har har . . . stand . . . by . . . !”

What we didn’t realise at the time was has how devoted she became, as a result of this, to doing the right thing. What we did was only a test, and I must say she passed with flying colours, beside that black and white TV, time and time again. She stood . . . by . . . the TV set . . . because it was the Right Thing to do. It was the only thing one could do. And she has subsequetly been doing the Right Thing for more than four decades since. She is an emergency medicine doctor and veteran mountain patroller. She’s been on duty in the Congo, hung in Rwanda, stood by in Hisapniola, helped all comers in Idaho. And she continues doing the Right Thing. Standing by.

We unintentionally ingrained in her a sense of duty to all mankind, seen and unseen. Gosh. And we thought we were just getting a cheap laugh off a gullible three-year-old.

So . . . do the Right Thing . . . please stand by.

Here’s the weirdest, wildest and probably the best event of the Bali summer season: Empire of the Sun at Potato Head Bali Beach Club in Petitenget, 19 August.

Feeling a bit bored? Jaded? Nothing new to do? Under-awed by the faux-fabulousness of (yeah yeah) normal nightlife? Then pay attention.

Potato Head Beach Club in Bali has boldly booked an oddball act for their biggest high season party, and EVERYONE attending is coming in crazy costumes (required, no exceptions).

If you’ve never heard of Empire of the Sun (I hadn’t), they’re an Australian electropop duo, supported by a cast of thousands (or so it would appear), and a phalanx of dressers backstage to manage all the costume changes.

And they wear some very weird sh*t.

And so should all of us. But what kind of costume to don? We’re leaning toward indian pow-wow glam with a dash of Louis XIV. And colour, definitely colour.

Think: Adam Ant meets Avatar in a sci-fi samurai flick on a Wagner opera set. Or Peranakan pirates in a Cirque du Soleil extravaganza in Ultravox-land. Empire of the Sun are described as being varied and unpredictible. We should be, too. They’re very visual. Ditto for all of us.

This is going to be very amusing. And with Potato Head’s possibilities for light and sound, and recent reports from Empire of the Sun’s 2011 world tour so far, be prepared for a really big show; and a participatory one.

Curious? See some EoS vids on YouTube here. Then order your Potato Head tickets from ticketsales@ptthead.com

Don’t worry. It’s OK to be kitsch. Really. We’re bored, after all. Might as well indulge in some insanity. The sanest response perhaps, to a world that’s gone increasingly insane of late.

Well, now we’ve gone and done it. HIV/AIDS thrives on ignorance and denial, and it’s thriving in Bali. A decade ago it was almost unheard of here; now it’s the stuff of headlines in the local Indonesian language newspaper almost every day. Today’s headline story, set off from the other news on page two of the Bali Post is “Condom Use Low in Bali”. Apparently this situation is the result of a “misunderstanding.” The story reads as follows.

Heterosexual contact is now the highest risk factor in HIV/AIDS transmission here. It is estimated that in 2010 there were appoximately 4,000 customers of sex workers here infected with the virus, with the potential of passing it on to their families, not only to their wives but to their children as well.

Ironically, the level of condom use among customers of sex workers in Bali is still very low; only around 26 percent. It should, however, be at the 80 to 90 percent level. “In Thailand, condom use is in the 80 to 90 percent range, and their HIV infection rates have dropped sharply,” stated the head of the Public Health Department of Bali, Dr. Nyoman Sutedja on Tuesday (17 May).

To reduce transmission of HIV/AIDS through heterosexual factors, the socialisation of condom use represents one effective means, particularly in prostitution areas. However, condom use is still consider a “tabu” subject by the people of Bali. Condoms are disapproved of, and seen as an endorsement of free sex, even at a time when unwanted pregnancies among school children are on the increase, along with HIV infection rates that are rising every year.

According toe Sutedja, Bali actually does have one public condom dispenser, located in Kuta. While it was installed as a means to reduce HIV/AIDS infection levels through heterosexual contact, local society opposed it regarding its presence as sanctioning free sex. Now, according to Sutedja, this condom dispenser no longer works because it is broken.

It is impossible not to comment on the article. Bear in mind that prostitution in various forms is commonplace in Bali, and is by no means limited in any way to tourism areas, such as Kuta. Simple, cheaply built brothels, known in local parlance as Kafe Remang, have sprouted like mushrooms all over the countryside and on the margins of  towns and villages. Numerous resident foreigners here who know what they look like, have complained about how many there are in the vicinity of The Green School, a high quality international school with the environment and social responsibility as key themes in its curriculum. Can you imagine driving a carpool future world leaders to and from school every day, passing a slew of cinderblock and tin brothel-bars on the way? I’m  certainly not pointing a finger at The Green School, and I’ll bet if there’s anything they can do to address the situation, they probably are doing it. I’m simply showing how the sublime and the tragic often rub elbows here in Bali. Strange bedfellows, so to speak.

Now consider that the HIV infection rate among sex workers in Bali today is variously estimated to be somewhere between 25 and 50 percent, depending on which study by which agency or NGO forms the basis of the report. A recent study of women giving birth in the main public hospital in the city of Singaraja revealed that an alarmingly high percentage are HIV positive. The same report also mentioned that numerous families in North Bali are 100% HIV positive; father, mother, and all of their children. Some households have become “extinct,” which poses problems for Balinese Hindus as it is not really feasible to “decommission” their family temples even if the entire family has passed away. And it’s essentially impossible to sell or buy a Balinese adat home or the land it sits on, even if it’s abandoned.

Finally, I’m laughing through tears here. How can it be worth mentioning that Bali has one public condom dispenser? Is that really something we can consider an “effort” to address the current AIDS epidemic on the island?

Also tragic, and ironic, is this article from a little over three years go, warning of an incoming tsunami of AIDS in Bali. And this one, from over five years ago, announcing how the local government would be installing lots of public condom dispensers. And, irony of ironies, Bali hosted the International Conference on AIDS in Asia and the Pacific, less than two years ago. It’s time for positive action. Click these links for starters: Yayasan AIDS Indonesia, Indonesia AIDS Community (in English) , Kerti Praja Foundation

Travel guides and glossy magazines call Bali paradise and wax poetic about the island’s glories, and how peaceful and spiritual a place it is. Of course, there is some truth amid all the hyperbole, but reading the local newspapers written in Indonesian gives a somewhat different impression. There is evidently some dissonance between the public image and the day-to-day realities of Bali, which is beginning to seem more like Paradox Island than Paradise Island. As a bellweather, let’s just take a look at today’s Bali Post, the local Indonesian-language daily, to see what’s up in this so-called paradise. Remember, this is just one day, and a day chosen completely at random. Yesterday was not dissimilar, and tomorrow probably will not be either.

Following are brief synopses of 13 news items prominent in today’s Bali Post (a broadsheet sized serious newspaper, with a total of 24 pages, four of them devoted to sport, two to classified advertising, and one to international top stories).

Polluted Beaches
At least 13 beaches in Bali are polluted by raw effluence from hotels and other businesses. Among those beaches are tourism faves, Kuta, Sanur, Mertasari, Lovina, Soka, Candidasa, Padangbai and Tulamben. The Governor of Bali says hotels that disregard sanitation and dump waste in the sea will be prosecuted.

Comment: Illegal effluent certainly contributes to the seasonal algae blooms that kill fish along Bali’s southwest coast, causing noxious odours.

Coastal Abrasion
The beaches of Bali’s popular southwest coast are eroding at a troubling rate. During an open discussion forum held by the Governor at Petitenget temple in Seminyak, chemical fertilisers were identified as a major contributor to the problem. Canggu resident, Wayan Tambun, says popular surf spots at Seseh, Batu Mejan (Echo Beach), and Berawa are among the beaches vanishing to abrasion, and that it has been going on for a long time. Farmers are urged to stop using chemical fertilisers.

Comment: This comes at a time when the fields of south Bali are hit hard by plagues of insects, plant diseases, rat infestations, and the effects of extreme weather. Farmers can hardly make a go of it as things stand, and they are unlikely to consider risking a switch to organic farming, fearing the cost of making adjustments, and the risk of even poorer harvests.

Abandoned Babies
A newborn baby was found abandoned on a terrace in Denpasar. It is now one of three recently-abandoned newborns currently being cared for at the main public hospital in Denpasar

Power Supply Problems
Rolling blackouts continue. Today’s scheduled all-day blackout areas include the Oberoi and Petitenget districts, which are popular elite travel enclaves, and the main university campus of Bali (UNUD). Tomorrow’s areas in the dark include Ungasan, and nearby exclusive neighbourhoods in Bukit Jimbaran where the Bulgari Resort and other star-to-diamond class resorts are located.

Armed Robbery
Investigation of an armed robbery continues. A few days ago a young businessman withdrew about $24,000 in cash from his bank, and was robbed at knifepoint on the way home. The police criticise him for not bringing along a guard.

AIDS Epidemic
Bali ranks 5th nationwide in terms of the total number of officially reported cases of HIV/AIDS, and four of its eight regencies still have no official resolutions ratified to address HIV/AIDS. Among those four are Badung (where most tourism activity is located), Denpasar (the capital city), and Tabanan (agricultural and elite villa/resort development zone). A public health officer warns of the risk of Bali having a “lost generation,” noting that most cases are in the 16 – 49 year old age group. There are thousands of officially reported cases of HIV/AIDS in Bali. Transmission here is primarily through heterosexual contact.

Comment: Bali is certainly not the most populous province in Indonesia, by a long way. What does this mean in terms of percentage of population infected? Is Bali perhaps in the top two provinces for infection levels? How rapidly is the incidence of HIV/AIDS in Bali increasing?

Terror Scare
Saturday night a mysterious suitcase was found abandoned in the nightlife hub of Jalan Legian near Kuta. The street was closed off, the bomb squad contacted, and patrons of restaurants, bars and other businesses abandoned the area in fear. The bomb squad arrived after approximately one hour and the suitcase was checked, removed, and found to contain no explosives.

Death on the Roads
A 16-year old boy died of head injuries in a motorbike accident near Tejakula in North Bali. A 54-year-old woman died of head injuries (no helmet) in a motorbike accident in downtown Denpasar. A spokesperson from the main public hospital in Denpasar states that 80% of traffic injuries in Bali are injuries to the head, and almost 16% are head injuries to riders not wearing helmets.

Comment: Normally one to three road deaths per day are reported in the Bali Post. A week ago Saturday, I arrived on the scene of a deadly motorbike mishap at the intersection of Jalan Raya Tanah Lot and Jalan Raya Canggu just minutes after it occurred. The image of the rider’s face smashed on the tarmac amid blood and bone fragments is not one that will fade from memory fast.

Problems Providing Road Infrastructure
The Governor during a public forum in Seminyak complained about how difficult it is to provide new roads in Bali to overcome its dire traffic problems. He cites excessive criticism, debate, and discussion as well as high land values. The central Government, he states, has been very supportive and ready to fund road projects in Bali, but with every project getting bogged down in interminable debates and complaints and special interests, they have become confused. Projects are stuck in stalemate.

Bird Flu Outbreak
Dozens of chickens died suddenly in West Bali, apparently from bird flu. The carcasses were burned and chickens in the immediate surrounding area were eliminated to prevent the spread of this outbreak.

Domestic Sexual Abuse
Yet another Balinese man in Buleleng regency is arrested for having sexual relations with his own daughter, in this case, a girl of 6.

Broken Roads
The roads in Karangasem regency, including the road to Besakih, “the mother temple,” are busted up and full of holes. The problem is due in part to overweight trucks carrying sand and gravel from illegal quarries. Locals frequently plant banana trees in the holes to mark them and as a form of protest at the bad state of the roads. The sand and gravel quarries in Karangasem run 24 hours a day, putting approximately 14,000 cubic meters of stuff on the road daily in some 2000 trucks. In tiny Klungkung regency three excavations were closed for environmental reasons. These sites are notorious for harbouring packs of stray and rabid dogs which have bitten numerous victims recently.

Comment: Last week a sweep of goods trucks on the main highway of Bali revealed that 80% of them were severely overloaded, posing safety risks, and causing damage to road surfaces.

Government Centre a Tranny Hangout
The Government’s Civic Centre in Renon has become notorious as a hotbed of crime, and a hangout for transvestite prostitution and cruising.

Unemployment and Help Wanted Ads Both Up
The double-digit unemployment rates in Bali have become quite daunting. At the same time the number of Help Wanted ads in the Bali Post has increased by approximately 100% in the past year. The majority of jobs advertised require English language and computer skills. Both of these skills are relatively rare among people seeking employment. Poor education is to blame. Businesses across the island are hard-pressed to find even entry-level staff with adequate skills.

What we see here, scanning the daily newspaper is no paradise. It’s a complex, challenging and challenged society with internal conflicts, conflicts between man and his environment, and conflicts between human flesh and hard tarmac. It would probably be fair to say that when all is said and done, Bali is in no better or no worse a state than any other tropical island “paradise”. Problems arise, evolve, resolve, and new ones emerge to fuel the continuing struggle that is human life on earth. What is troubling is not so much the problems themselves, but the mass conspiracy (or mass hypnosis) under which Bali tends to tell itself that it is perfect, blessed, the ultimate island. Whether this was ever true or not, such an idyllic state certainly could never, and will never, be attained or sustained in a climate of denial, delusion, ignorance, or arrogance.

One hopes that everyone and anyone who has an interest in Bali, whether they are visitors, travellers, residents, Balinese, or non-Balinese, will at the very least disavow themselves of the dream that this island is paradise, or that its people exist in a state of grace or superiority. Uniqueness, value, beauty, yes, all of those qualities can be attributed to Bali as it was, and as it is. But they are only part of the story. As someone once said,  probably in about 1969, “Let’s get real.” Perhaps some kind of balance can be re-won in Bali, and then sustained. I hope that everyone who receives some benefit, tangible or intangible from Bali, is also willing and able to reciprocate by providing some benefits to Bali in return. Being aware of the day-to-day realities here is a good place to start.

I haven’t posted on this blog for a while. Too busy trying to get something done about everything that’s wrong but doesn’t need to be. Apparently, resistance is futile. We will be assimilated by a sea of trash. Plastic trash. Chemical trash. Trash on four wheels. Trash on two legs. I can’t say, “I’m just saying. . . ” because it’s not me who’s saying it. The voice of global common-denominatorism, the purveyor of what we all already know, TIME breaks the silence.

Headline 1 April 2011 (and it’s not an April Fool’s joke):

HOLIDAYS IN HELL: BALI’S ONGOING WOES

And copyright laws notwithstanding, I post the article here in full . . . The annual monsoon transforms Bali. Rain sweeps across slumbering volcanoes. Moss thickens on ancient temple walls. Rivers swell and flush their trash and frothing human waste into the sea off Kuta Beach, the island’s most famous tourist attraction, where bacteria bloom and the water turns muddy with dead plankton. “It happens every year,” shrugs Wayan Sumerta, a Kuta lifeguard, who sits with his love-struck Japanese girlfriend amid dunes of surf-tossed garbage. So why, in early March, did the Bali authorities warn tourists that swimming there for over 30 minutes could cause skin infections? The lifeguard tenderly strokes his girlfriend’s naked leg. “I guess some people just have sensitive skin,” he says.

Itchy ocean? Just add it to Bali’s growing list of seemingly intractable problems: water shortages, rolling blackouts, uncollected trash, overflowing sewage-treatment plants and traffic so bad that parts of the island resemble Indonesia’s gridlocked capital Jakarta. And don’t forget crime. In January, amid a spate of violent robberies against foreigners, Bali police chief Hadiatmoko reportedly ordered his officers to shoot criminals on sight. You’ve heard of the Julia Roberts movie Eat Pray Love, which was partly filmed in Bali? Now get ready for its grim sequel: Eat Pray Duck.

Most of Bali’s woes stem from a problem that rival resorts would love to have: too many tourists. In 2001, the island welcomed about 1.3 million foreign visitors. Ten years later — and despite bombings by Islamic extremists in 2002 and 2005 that killed 222 people, mostly Australian tourists — the island expects almost twice that number. And there are millions of Indonesian visitors too.

Hotels, shopping centers and restaurants are springing up everywhere to accommodate them. The cranes looming over Kuta are building at least three malls and a five-star hotel. But the less glamorous stuff — roads, power lines, sewers, parking spaces — often remains an afterthought. “The infrastructure is not keeping up with the development,” says Ron Nomura, marketing director at the Bali Hotels Association. The island’s lack of reservoirs, he says, is a case in point. “Can you believe there is this much rain and we don’t have enough water?”

When it comes to Bali, newspaper editors have a seemingly bottomless stock of “Paradise Lost?” headlines. Its rich Hindu culture is so distinctive that many people mistake the island for a separate country rather than a province of the world’s most populous Muslim nation. That Bali’s tourism industry has survived terrorism attacks and a global recession is a cause for pride. But amid unchecked growth and a creaking infrastructure, it is also a source of complacency. “It’s like Bali is slowly committing suicide,” says local journalist Wayan Juniarta.

Bali’s Governor I Made Mangku Pastika knows it. In January, he issued a moratorium on new construction in certain built-up areas, and later warned that his lush birthplace might turn into a “dry land full of concrete buildings.” Pastika is popular — he investigated the bombings as Bali’s then police chief — but his moratorium isn’t. “Some people says he’s trying to slow down Bali’s growth,” says Nomura. “That’s not necessarily true. What he’s looking for is more responsible growth.”

He probably won’t find it. Nobody I talked to reckoned that Pastika’s measures would influence who built what where. Bali’s spiritualism might be a bewildering blend of Hinduism, Buddhism and animism, but the island’s planning code is simple: if you build it, they will come.

And on the way, they’ll get stuck in traffic. Complaining about the congestion around the airport or in tourist areas like Kuta is now one of Bali’s newest pastimes. Even in Ubud, the seat of the island’s art and culture, once sleepy streets are clogged with buses carrying Chinese tourists, who visit the island in ever greater numbers. Vehicle ownership on Bali is rising at an annual rate (12.42%) that far outstrips the growth in new roads (2.28%), according to government statistics. “Traffic will get worse and worse,” I Made Santha, Bali’s traffic chief, predicted in February.

Equally damaging to Bali’s prestige is the perception among some expatriates that the island is increasingly unsafe. Lusiana Burgess, the 46-year-old Indonesian wife of a retired British pilot, was robbed and killed in her North Kuta home earlier this year and her murderer remains at large. An Australian woman awoke in her villa to be gagged and assaulted by four thieves. Then an American man was stabbed during another robbery attempt in Kuta. A week after that, police arrested and — following an apparent escape attempt — shot dead 34-year-old M. Syahri, from the neighboring island of Lombok, who was suspected of robbing a number of foreigners.

The statistics actually show a slight decrease in serious crime from 2009 to ’10. But Chris Wilkin, a former oil-company executive from the U.K. who retired in Bali six years ago, remains uneasy. “It was very quiet when I moved here,” he says. “It wasn’t a big attraction for the criminal classes. Now, with the boom, word has got round that there are easy pickings to be had.”

Wilkin, whose Indonesian wife rents villas to expats and knew Burgess, believes the threat of violent robbery will discourage foreigners from leasing properties in remote places. Investing in CCTV, intrusion alarms and bedside panic buttons may only “give a false sense of security,” he says. Recently, Wilkin accidentally set off his burglar alarm. Nobody went to investigate, not even the private security guards in his own complex.

Expat anxiety hasn’t dented Bali’s popularity among its core visitors, the Australians. And why should it? Officially, the Australian government still advises its citizens to “reconsider your need to travel” to Bali due to a “very high threat of terrorist attack,” yet more than a hundred flights arrive from Australia every week. The dangers to new arrivals are those commonly faced by tourists everywhere: dodgy food, motorbike accidents, and — as a sign at my Kuta hotel suggests (“No Jumping from Any Balcony into Pool Is Permitted”) — beer-fueled misadventure.

A new terminal at Bali’s shabby airport is due for completion in 2013. But unless other infrastructure is improved, this will serve only to channel yet more tourists onto a critically overburdened island. For now, however, such doubts are largely forgotten in the rush to cash in on the Bali boom. “Goodness shouts, evil whispers,” runs an overused Balinese proverb. But money talks.